I'm working every second morning from 6am, then I kick it to school for a 9:00 start. I love work. I love grown-ups and laughing like an actual person, not a teenager.
I love love love sitting with the boys at lunch now. I love that we don't get invited to any gay shit and that we don't even talk to the gay people that sit on the grass. I love E. I love love those South Africans. And Marshy has been my favourite forever.
I love all of my classes and all of my teachers, and yet I'm totally freaking out.
It's like, every day of my life is sick, but the whole picture is inadequate. I wish I had lower expectations, but I wish more that I could fulfill my expectations.
I want to do well just because I know its possible. I want to have a sick life because I know it's not going to be that long before I die. It's such a paradox.
Legit, I'm upside down, but I look so strong with it all. If I could just not think about things so much..
Charles.
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